A Scotty Anderson Poem

I wrote this poem and posted it on my Fantasy Football League's message board. We are always trash talking each other.

A man named Ron

There once was a man named Ron
Before it started his team was gone
He traded here and he traded there
No team he could ever scare.

One day while he was running
Ron thought he was cunning
Then he drank a beer
Off an older He-Man's Rear.

Everyone laughed, Ron Rejoiced
He was victorious in his choice
It was a beer off a man's rear
Or two shots of hard A which is not clear.

Once up from his foamy position
Ron licked his chops and headed to my kitchen
He was looking for something to bake
I offered him my tube stake.

He hemmed and hawed
But when my pants were pulled he was awed
He said wouldn't work because was drunk
All I had to do was grab his trunk.

He was shoved to the floor with valor
He took it like a man and did not holler
When I was done we returned to the game
Nothing more Ron said, because of his shame.