Lack of concentration.

I could not concentrate very well at work today. I kept thinking about what my mom found last night. I was totally freaking out. We were going to talk when I got home. I am not sure what I am going to say. I am so nervous. That was all I could think of.

I didn't get a lot of work done today because of that. I had called Scotty H. last night. He called me back while I was at work. I went out and talked to him for a while. He is going to be going to Eastern when it starts. He was the man who helped me come out to myself for the most part. He is the guy I was at the picnic with when I met Peter.

Scotty and I had a class together and we studied for tests a few years ago. I really like Scotty. He is so nice to everyone. I asked him what he said to him mom when they talked about it. He said at first they did not say much. But his mom got a lot of books about it and she read about homosexuality. He said they have a great relationship.

When I got off work I came home expecting to talk. My mom and I never had the conversation I was expecting to have. In some ways I was happy that we didn't. I was actually sort of comfortable around her. But I am so uncomfortable now that she knows. The ability to pretend it does not exist can not happen anymore.

Then night went on and we still didn't talk. Everyone went to bed without speaking of it. Maybe with some time things will get smoother and I will not have it on my mind the whole time I am around her.