Be careful what you wish for.

Today was one of those days where I only had to work part of the day. We had practice in the Kibbie Dome at six-thirty for the football team. This should be my last week sitting out. Before I left for practice I worked until noon and then met Thomas at the Top Notch for lunch. I went back to work an hung out for a while. Someone needed my help so I went to help even though I was off.

I went home and cleaned up a little bit and got my truck loaded with my coroner stuff. I was on call for the coroner's office. I headed to Moscow. As I was getting to Pullman I got a call from someone from a computer company in the Seattle area. He talked to me a little bit. He asked what it would take to get me over there. He asked me when I could start. He wanted me on Monday. That was just too quick. I needed to give notice and think about it. I was offered about one and a half times when I am getting now at IS. That is big. Plus it will be a change of career's working in the computer business. It will be a programmers job and with time and experience I can move to bigger and better pay. It will mean however that I will have to leave Whitman County and all the things I have for myself. It has taken a long time for me to get all my jobs out here.

It is a big change. I cannot keep my foot safely on first base and still end up at second base. I will have to remove my foot and go for it. Most people would be happy getting such a huge change in money, but there is something that I am not ready for. I keep worrying that I will not be able to cut it and that I will get cut. Then I will be jobless and moneyless. Then that would cause great problems for me.

I am not sure what I should do. I know in my head it is what I need to do, in my heart it was me to stay here. Keep the status quo. Keep my softball team. Keep going to school. Keep working all my jobs.

The also leads to another question, why am I going to school? I am going for a degree to get me a job getting more money. But was I looking for work at WSU or anywhere I can find it? I am not sure. I love my softball team and everyone knows softball is life, but I think I can get on a team over there. I will for sure miss the fire department and I will miss my job here. It pains me to think that my time is up. It is like the doctor said I have two weeks to live. I want to spend more time doing what I have been doing.

This is a painful decision. It reminds me of the time in ninety-nine when I was offered a job. It was going to require me to leave everything. It was horrible trying to decide. This is going to be the same way I am sure.

They say be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.

Other than that I went to practice. A guy hurt his shoulder so I drove him to the hospital. I waited until his wife got there. Then I went to Pullman. I watched Third Watch with Ryan and talked with Meredith. She got a new car and showed it to me. Then I headed home and went to bed.