Gut shot

This morning I was tired, but I was able to get to work at my normal time. I worked on some bugs, finishing up the one I started on Friday. I talked to Terry again. He said he would let me know what they were going to offer me. He said they are willing to go to sixty thousand dollars. That was what I decided was enough to keep me here. But I sort of see myself going back on that.

I E-mail my would-be boss at WSU and told him of the situation to see if there is anymore money to squeeze out. I want to the job but I would like more money too. I am willing to do the pay cut from NetUpdate if I can get on the Pullman Fire Department.

So to make sure my ducks were in a row I called and talked to Heston. I asked him about what he had said earlier about be getting back on the department to get his thoughts. He said that because of a letter to the editor I wrote to the Evergreen the Chief was not happy and did not want me on the department.

I felt like I got punched in the gut. I spent the rest of the evening stressing over that. If I cannot get on Pullman fire, I will not go back. I have decided that for sure. I talked to Heston further about that and he said I need to talk to the Chief and see if I can smooth things over. I pulled up the letter and I plan on calling him tomorrow and trying to get it taken care of.

I am so worried that they will not take me back. That would kill me. I love Pullman Fire so much. If I cannot work for them I will not go back. I just hope the Chief is understanding and willing to forgive. If he is I stand half a chance. If not, there is no way in heck I will get back on the department.

I believe in the whole fate thing. Maybe having it so I cannot get on Pullman Fire is Gods way of making sure I stay out here and make the bigger money. No matter how much I want something, fate will make the choices for me that in the end are the right choices. I just hope it is straightened out with the fire department so I don't have this cloud over me and I can make the decision and not have it totally made for me. I am really mad that I am in this situation. It just sickens me.