KenJen lost

I was surly tired this morning and I got out of bed later than I would have chosen otherwise. On my way to work I heard Andy Savage in the Morning talk about an issue a listener had raised. She is about to turn forty. She had a pact with a good friend of hers in college. They agreed if by forty, they are not married, they would marry each other. She is now worried because the guy still wants to follow through and she is worried that if she goes through with it and then a short time later finds her soul mate it could be bad.

Callers said to do it. One guy said not to do it, because unless they were madly in love then it would not work out. She said she loves him. But probably not as someone she would normally marry. This got me to thinking today. I am thirty, and I am eighteen days away from being yet another year older. I am not married. I have no kids. Granted, it is harder being a gay man to do those things. I would love to find a girl and marry her. Have kids and live a normal life leaving behind the fact that I am gay. I would suppress my natural feelings in order to feel normal. But I am at the point where I am not sure. I get worried because I want to have kids now, not when I am forty.

But I also believe in fate. When it is meant to happen, and *if* it is meant to happen it will. I cannot force something that was not meant to happen. That is the thing I have learnt. Over my life I have wanted many things. I would get disappointed when I did not get what I wanted, but then something would happen that I was happy about. That thing would have been impossible if I had gotten my way earlier.

I got a phone call today from the College of Architecture and Engineering for a job interview. It will happen on Monday. I am excited. It would mean a pay raise and more importantly a move back to Pullman! If I don't get this, there are two other applications in at WSU. I hope to get interviews for those jobs as well. I always seem to get to the interview round but I am not the top one chosen. Usually I am in the top five of all applicants. So maybe those other four people have been hired elsewhere and I will get the job this time!

At work here I am back to dealing with the problem from the last week. I am trying to track down why something will not carry data to and from the database, yet all the fields around it work just fine. I had two quick bugs I closed out today.

I was going to watch my nephews but it turned out that they did not need to be watched because Jon was not going to the event he was going to go to. I called Kyle and left a message. I was not really in the mood to go over to see him today. I feel scuzzy because I need a haircut in a major way. I think I will get that done tomorrow.

I chatted with Jared some more. I showed him my blog with the three coming out stories. So now he knows I am a fellow EMS guy and I am also gay. He said he knew that we clicked pretty quickly. He sort of figured something out when I was talking to him using some gay community buzz words. Finally asked me "str8 up"... what team did I play for. That is when I showed him the coming out stories. I said I am gay.

I spent the evening at home just hanging out on the Internet and then I watched the Real Gilligan's Island. I cannot believe I did that. I am so mad at myself for getting into the show. But there is a ten-six-seven and I wanted to see him do well. So far he has not been knocked off the island.

Post Thanksgiving work

This morning I was getting out of the house a little later than I would have wanted. I still have that darn problem I left when I left for Thanksgiving break. A lunch time meeting was scheduled.

I got a call about the water pipe situation. The insurance company said that they would not normally cover what I was told would be covered. But because it had been promised they would cover it. So I am not sure what is going to happen from here. Worst case scenario I could be out seven-thousand bucks or more.

I got some lunch and came back for the meeting. They were just trying to figure out where we were with all our tasks. Upon returning to my desk I was working on two bugs that took priority over that problem I have been dealing with. I got one finished and the other one I realized the fix to it as I was walking out the door for the day. Actually I have it fixed, I just need to move the files to the server.

I chatted online at length with Jared. He is a paramedic from Canada. He is also gay. He seems pretty out and proud for the most part. We talked or nearly four hours. He was very open to talk to and we just talked about all sorts of issues.

Then I talked to Roger. He is from the South. He is a really nice guy. He said he tends to be shy however that does not come out online. He is very nice and easy to talk with. We were chatting for a bit and he asked what way I swing. I told him I batted and threw right handed. He laughed. Then I told him the truth. Roger and I have talked a few times in the past. Tonight was our longest conversation. He is a pretty cool guy to talk to as was Jared.

The end of the Thanksgiving weekend

I had gone to bed with the idea that I would go on an ambulance call before heading to Seattle. Sure enough I sleep though the whole night. Shortly after noon, however, a call did tone out on my pager. It was a non-emergency transport to Pullman. I got my stuff packed and headed to the station. I figured if I made the call, cool, if not I could get my way home.

I pulled in and Carl was there. I asked him about the call. He said two were coming. I told him that I was only going to go if they needed more or I would be on my way home. I was there when the ambulance was leaving Whitman Community en route to Pullman. Just after they said they are en route the pager goes off.

It is a car accident out on highway one-twenty-seven. So Scott and I went that direction. We ended up requesting Steptoe to bring the back-up ambulance. We had the bird launched and met us in Dusty.

The car had gone down a fifteen to twenty foot embankment and landed on its top. No one died because of injuries from the accident. I drove one of the patients to the hospital with Scott in the back. After dropping off the patient we cleaned up the ambulance and then I did get out on the road.

It was a pretty easy drive. I listened to the end of the Seahawks game. They got crushed by Drew Bledsoe and the Bills. I listened to some more tunes and I got home in time to watch the Simpson's only to find it as not on tonight.

I spent the evening talking to Joseph and Adam. Joseph is a college student from the East Coast. He really is into cars. We mainly had small talk, but he was an easy person to talk to. Very friendly. I also talked to Adam. Adam was a Coug who I met a few years ago. He is a fellow right-wing type of guy. He is also a gay guy.

He has some real issues right now. I did not give him simple answers or anything like that, but I was just here to listen to him. I told him that I really liked the time we had in Pullman together and I would hope that one of these days we can get together for an evening. He is from Olympia, so there is some distance between us, but if we want it to happen, it can happen.

I talked to Kyle. We have some pretty firm plans about meeting up on Tuesday. He really wants to get to know me. He said he is really excited and nervous about meeting with me. I told him I am too. I said that there is no guarantee about what will happen from this point on, but at least we will have some fun while finding out.

New Madden 2005 football league

I got up this afternoon and I was sitting around the house. I started to watch a movie and TV and ended up staying until that was over with. I was going to go to Ryan's apartment. With the new Madden game I figured we would play that for a while. I got a pizza on the way and. We had some pizza and then set up a league and a franchise for each of us. I am the Seahawks and he is Kansas City. We did a draft. That took a while to get through the forty-nine rounds. I got Brett Farve as my QB. I got a pretty good offense and a decent defense. Ryan got a strong defense and a bad offense.

We started with the preseason. I won my first two games. He was losing with his defense getting burned and his offense sputter. My team is more balanced. We skipped the next two games and went to the regular season.

We went to Jack in the Box and got dinner at about midnight. We were going to what Third Watch from last night. But it was not on. So we went back to football.

I won my first two games. Then I played one last game about four in the morning. I was losing by two touchdowns in the forth quarter. I was able to finally catch up. We went to over time. I won the toss. I got the ball and I was running out of time on my first play call. So I hit one quick. I expect a pass. But it was a run. My guy got the hand off and stood there for a second because I was watching the receivers. The other team hit my guy... FUMBLE!!!! NO!!!! They kicked a field goal two plays later and beat me. I think now I will play for a win and not over time. I was crushed by the defeat after coming back from a two touchdown deficit and worse off on a fumble.
I went home a crushed man and went to bed.

Madden 2005 Football!

So much for getting any sleep. I was woken up because I was too hot. I got up and started to get ready to face my day. I did not know what it had in store but I was ready to have some fun.

I started by going to Ryan's apartment. We sat around for a little while watching TV and deciding what movie to go see. We did decide to see After the Sunset. We had some time before the movie started. I suggested that we hit Moscow.

We went to Hastings. I was looking for a book on Bounty Hunting, but I could not remember the name of it. I looked around for a bit and could not find it either. We left and decided to get some lunch. We went to Branagans for some pizza. We got calzones and cinnamon break sticks. We spent some time there talking about sports and other life issues. The TV's had two different college football games on.

Ryan wanted to stop at WalMart to pick up a video game. He ended up buying Madden Two-Thousand-Five.

We took off with about fifteen minutes to spare to get back to Pullman for the movie. The threatre was about one-tenth full. After the Sunset was a pretty good movie. They had a pretty funny homoerotic scene in the middle of the movie. It has been done before, but this one had me laughing pretty hard.

After the movie we went to his place and played the video game for a little while. I have never been very good at video game systems beyond the original Nintendo with the two button controller. This controller I am using has an A, B, X, Y, Z, L, R, and Start buttons, plus three control pad type things. Ryan beat me, but it took a while for anyone to score.

Ryan and I were going to meet with Ben and his girlfriend at John's house for a night of poker. Ben was going to bring his poker table and we were going to have some fun. We met Ben at Dissmore's at eight pm. Then we drove to John's house. The poker table-top was set up and we started to play.

I have always thought Ben was a ten-six-seven, but today I saw him in a tighter shirt. He has very well defined biceps. He also is a very friendly and outgoing guy. We all laughed and joked all night long.

The first hand I had a good hand, but Ryan had a better one. I ended up going all in and lost. So I had to buy in after my first hand. I was ready to start to battle. But I lost some more and bought in a third time. That is when things started to turn around. I won some hands. One of Ben's last hands before he left was a game of Two Card Guts with a thirty cent ante. The pot grew and grew. At one point three people stayed in. All had pairs, but lost to the bitch hand. Then later on Ryan stayed in with an Ace-Two. The bitch had a Two. Then I showed the second card. It was a Two. A pair of Two's. Everyone started going crazy. Ryan had to match the pot. So now the pot was huge.

Two hands later I get a pair of Tens. I stayed in -- and so did Ryan. We both flipped up our pair of Tens. We beat the bitch. So we ended up splitting the pot. That put me up for the night.

John and I went head to head in a Texas Hold'Em hand. I had a Jack-Seven. John had a Jack-Two. The board had a Two-Three-Jack. Then on the turn there was another Jack. Of course I did not know John's hand. But he went all in. I was way up. I had trip Jacks. We flipped up our cards and I saw he had me beat. I needed a Seven on the river. I did not get one.

We continued to play for about another thirty minutes. It was about three-thirty am when we called last hand. I walked away up a few bucks. John won a little and Ryan reported some winnings.

I dropped Ryan off at home. I then went home myself. I was tired. It was time for bed.

Happy Thanksgiving

I got up this morning and loaded my truck with the food for tonight. I stopped at Dissmores and got some water. I got to Ryan's apartment. We put the food in the refrigerator. Ryan and I went back to Dissmores and got a few cooking utensils and some stuff for Ryan. We saw Russell down there.

We went back to Ryan's and watched the Dallas Cowboys play football. We also watched Two Fast Two Furious. We started to cook the food to have it ready by five pm. Russell came over and we had Thanksgiving dinner. Russell made one of his trademark desserts. We had a good time. Then I made an observation that cracked everyone up. I said to Ryan, if someone told you nine years ago that you would be spending Thanksgiving two thousand and four eating dinner in Pullman with two gay guys, what would you have thought about that.

I ate more than I should have, as usual on Thanksgiving. I had dessert and we all sat around chatting for a while. Russell was going to someone else's' for some stuff too, so he left around seven. Ryan and I watched TV including CSI. Then we watched a few cartoons and A Christmas Story. After that was over with I took off to go to my office. I wanted to check my E-mail before going home.

Thanksgiving weekend now underway

I was extra tired this morning getting off to work around ten am. I got there about ten-thirty. I worked on the same problem trying to figure out where a piece of data disappears. It works fine on my local box but not the test server so I am trying to figure out why. We had a company lunch at noon. We all sat in the bullpen and ate. Well, the people who were at work did. I stuck around for a while before finally heading out.

The traffic going over the pass was pretty thick. It also did not help that there was a cop. So he was in the same direction of travel from around North Bend until outside of Cle Elum. So, that added a little bit of time on to the trip. Finally on highway twenty-six I was able to cruise along pretty well. Along the way I talked to Sampsons Plumbing. I was told that it would be about five thousand dollars to expose the broken water pipe at my house The hole would be about forty feet wide and twenty feet deep. I hope the insurance company said to just put in a new pipe versus exposing that old one.

When I got to Colfax I stopped at Rosauers and got a ready to serve Thanksgiving dinner with Turkey, potatoes, gravy, stuffing, and pumpkin pie. I took that home and put it in the refrigerator. I got my uniform on. I got some dinner and headed to the jail.

I still volunteer time there. I also had my fire department shirt with me incase we got a call that I would go on. I have been working in the jail since ninety-five. I was twenty-one when I started there. It is amazing the turn over and the changes in both the jail and myself over the years. I have noticed our clientele have gotten a little rougher judging by both their crimes and how they treat the officers.

I was remember back to when I was full time there. I use to work swing shift a lot. I would take work release guys out on cleaning details around the jail. Most officers would leave the inmates to do the work. I always stayed and supervised. I would find things that were missed and make them reclean so it was done correctly.

In ninety-eight there were the WSU Riots. A few people came to the jail. While the rioters were in jail everyday that I worked I found work details. We cleaned windows, floors, cigarette butts, or whatever else I could find for them to do. With them I made sure not a single thing was missed. I thoroughly checked their work. Everyday after dinner they knew I would come for them. They did not like me at all. But I had no respect for them. With inmates you are not supposed to treat them differently and up until that time I had never treated them differently. But I was an angry man at that time. They all got away with only a slap on the wrist compared to what should have happened. So I was not going to let them sit around the jail every evening and do nothing like everyone else. They knew they were not going to get a free ride. As the time wore on though my soft side came out. I would still make them do the work but I would give them a cigarette break from time to time. I always told them if they ever told anyone I gave them a smoke break I would end it on the spot. I did not want people to think I had gone soft.

Anyway, tonight at the jail there was an officer booking an inmate and one in control. There must be an officer in control at all times. The officer working thought he would play a trick on the one in booking. He grabbed the keys to the jail and did a round. When he got to booking the booking officer looked up and saw who it was. He looked back down and within a fraction of a second it registered who it was. Then he quickly looked up at him in shock. He said "who is in control?" The officer who did the round said, that no one is there. He was bored and thought he would do a round. He took the keys and forwarded the phones to booking. The booking officer was shocked. I was cracking up.

A tiny bit later a EMS transfer came out. I called and said I could do it. We had to take a patient from the Colfax hospital to Spokane. We went code three which makes the trip a little quicker. We dropped off the patient in Spokane and came back. It was about a two and a half hour round trip.

I went back to the jail and did the next two rounds and talked for a few deputies in the front office. At midnight we left and went home. I watched TV before going to bed.

Water break was found

The people who were looking for the water leak found it. It was about twenty feet under ground near my driveway. The guy said about ten gallons a minute was leaking. He called it a major leak.

I spent the day trying to find why a piece of data from the application is not being carried over when the rest of the data around it is being carried to the database and back. I have been going through a lot of files trying to find the problem.

I went home and relaxed. Tomorrow was going to be a big travel day. I chatted online with Ryan and watched some TV. I went to bed and there was a show about Alexander the Great. I watched that. It was about some of his military maneuvering. It was pretty interesting.

I am Ryan's best friend!

I have been a member of Epinions for a long time. I only have about three reviews to my name. Ryan has hundreds. He sent me a link to a movie review for National Treasure. I looked at it. Then I decided to look at his profile. One of the last thing he wrote was one of those form type questions. This one was the ten things in his life he cannot live without. I read it and was happily surprised when I saw this:

My Best Friend Scotty -- He has been there for me through the good times and the bad, through softball, and relationships, and everything that comes in between. It's always great to have that one friend that will be there through everything that life has in store for you.

I mentioned that and he said that I wasn't supposed to see that. Not in a bad way, I think he just did not want to have some of those things read by people he knows personally. But I thought it was so cool. It is not like he did it and then sent me a link so I would see it. He had no idea I would see that. Because of that it means so much more to me than he could ever know.

I wrote on the back of Curt's car for the Apple Cup Victory.

He had to leave that on his car for the next day.

I spent time working on bugs with the application. Not bugs that I made for once. Bugs that were in the system and I was fixing them.

When I got home from work I hung around the house. I watched TV and chatted online with a few people. It was a pretty relaxing night

Long chat with Nick

The end of the weekend was here and the short work week was about to get started. I went to Russell's to get Nick to take home. I needed to drop him off in Seattle to take the ferry home.

Russell and I talked some politics for a little bit. We usually don't because we are opposite side of the spectrum and I did not want to get into a heated debate. I made sure it was kept light. We talked for about twenty minutes. Then Nick said we should probably get going.

We got on the road I stopped at Rosauers in Colfax and then we got gas and we were off. I had the Seahawks game on in the background. Nick and I started to discuss stuff. I asked him if he was nervous about facing his parents for the first time since coming out to them a few weeks ago. He said he was.

We talked about that and how his family would take it and how he would feel. We also talked about Nick's brother and not wanting to tell him right away. He wants his brother to be kept in the dark about it for a while.

We talked about other issues about homosexuality, marching band, and music. It was a nice talk. We always have a lot to chat about. When we got to Issaquah we got some dinner and then headed into Seattle. I dropped him off near the Ferry terminal. I left. A few blocks away he called and said he did not have his wallet. So I turned around and met him.

He opened the door and found his wallet right away. I left again. He said from the point on some cops were watching his every move. I think they might have thought we did a drug deal or something because it was so quick. He said two bums came up to him. One asked for a cigarette. He gave him one. Then another asked for his Burger King bag. He gave it over. Then he realized it was empty. Russell had said that wasn't nice. Nick said "He should have asked for a cigarette." Nick did not realized the bag was empty when he gave it over. It was only after the fact. That cracked me up.

APPLE CUP VICTORY

I hooked up my boat and took it to Moscow and dropped it off at Dale's Boat Service. I called Ryan on the way and he came along with me. After we were done with that we went to Taco Bell. We got lunch and went back to Ryan's apartment to eat and watch some college football. I then got ready and headed to the bus stop. I was going to head to the stadium.

I got to the tailgate party. I got my ticket from Jim. I had a few beers and talked to Jon. He was in town for the Apple Cup. He came to the tailgate party from the fieldhouse where he was with his friends that he came with.

I headed over to the game and got my standing spot on the top row around the forty yard line. I waited around for the game to start and people kept filtering in. The Husky band was on the field and then when they were done with their show the Cougar Drum Line took the field. As soon as they started to play the crowd when nuts. Then the rest of the band took the field. We did the fight song and the seniors were announced from the football team.

The fans were all fired up and the teams took the field ready to get something going. The Cougs came out on fire and made the Husky fans go silent pretty early on. Soon half time approached and the Cougs still had a lead. Knowing many times the Cougs are a team of two halfs. Meaning one half they are good another half in the same game they can be terrible. I was a bit concerned, but at the same time, these are the two thousand-four Husky's.

Towards the end of the game the Husky fans were getting back in it. The Husky's were only down by three and could tie it up with one more drive and a field goal. The Cougs got the ball and had to march down the field a little bit and get some first downs. The Cougar fans all were thinking about how many times we have put the Husky's away early only to let them come back and win the game late. With our breath collectively-held the Cougars earned two first downs. Then after two penalties we needed nearly thirty yards for the next first down. But the clock is running and we are not getting a lot of yards. We don't make a first down but the clock shows less that thirty seconds to play.

The punt was a good one. I worried that it would be blocked. We stopped them on about the ten yard line. The Husky's ran two plays and then the game was over and the Cougs won the Apple Cup. The band played the fight song as people started to stream onto the field. Soon half the field was covered in Cougar fan. The band played the fight song again with the team and then they played Jaws followed by the fight song again. I sung along as well as the fans on the field. It was so wonderful.

I stopped and talked to the Rescue guys - John, Michael, and Dan. They were teasing me about my performance on the basketball court from the night before. They said Brian told them about it. Then I went to wait for the bus. While on my way there I saw Tom from my freI hooked up my boat and took it to Moscow and dropped it off at Dale's Boat Service. I called Ryan on the way and he came along with me. After we were done with that we went to Taco Bell. We got lunch and went back to Ryan's apartment to eat and watch some college football. I then got ready and headed to the bus stop. I was going to head to the stadium. I got to the tailgate party. I got my ticket from Jim. I had a few beers and talked to Jon. He was in town for the Apple Cup. He came to the tailgate party from the fieldhouse where he was with his friends that he came with. I headed over to the game and got my standing spot on the top row around the forty yard line. I waited around for the game to start and people kept filtering in. The Husky band was on the field and then when they were done with their show the Cougar Drum Line took the field. As soon as they started to play the crowd when nuts. Then the rest of the band took the field. We did the fight song and the seniors were anounced from the football team.
The fans were all fired up and the teams took the field ready to get something going. The Cougs cam eout on fire and made the Husky fans go silent pretty early on. Soon half time approached and the Cougs still had a lead. Knowing many times the Cougs are a team of two halfs. Meaning one half they are good another half in the same game they can be terrible. I was a bit concerned, but at the same time, these are the two thousand-four Husky's.

Towards the end of the game the Husky fans were getting back in it. The Husky's were only down by three and could tie it up with one more drive and a field goal. The Cougs got the ball and had to march down the field a little bit and get some first downs. The Cougar fans all were thinking about how many times we have put the Husky's away early only to let them come back and win the game late. With our breath collectively-held the Cougars earned two first downs. Then after two penalties we needed nearly thirty yards for the next first down. But the clock is running and we are not getting a lot of yards. We don't make a first down but the clock shows less that thirty seconds to play.

The punt was a good one. I worried that it would be blocked. We stopped them on about the ten yard line. The Husky's ran two plays and then the game was over and the Cougs won the Apple Cup. The band played the fight song as people started to stream onto the field. Soon half the field was covered in Cougar fan. The band played the fight song again with the team and then they played Jaws followed by the fight song again. I sung along as well as the fans on the field. It was so wonderful.

I stopped and talked to the Rescue guys - John, Michael, and Dan. They were teasing me about my performance on the basketball court from the night before. They said Brian told them about it. Then I went to wait for the bus. While on my way there I saw Tom from my freshman year. He is working in mortage origination in Redmond. It was wild to see him. There was no bus in site for a while. Finally a little after eight a bus came. I rode it to Hico and walked to Ryan's apartment.

We deiceded to go see a movie. We chose to see Nation Treasure with Nicholas Cage. It was a pretty sweet movie. It kept me attention the whole time. It was about two hours long and it did not seem like it at all.euioshman year. He is working in mortgage origination in Redmond. It was wild to see him. There was no bus in site for a while. Finally a little after eight a bus came. I rode it to Hico and walked to Ryan's apartment.

We decided to go see a movie. We chose to see Nation Treasure with Nicholas Cage. It was a pretty sweet movie. It kept me attention the whole time. It was about two hours long and it did not seem like it at all.

The big weekend

I woke up this morning to Paul Silvi and Andy Savage talking about my E-mail to Paul about his coverage of the Apple Cup. I was mad that he showed Brink getting sacked and then the Husky's sacking the Cal QB. I did not think it was balanced to show bad for the Cougs and good for the Huskys. So they talked about that a little bit.

I got into work and did some typical maintenance on my computer. Terry told me I should take off early to beat the possible bad weather in the pass. So I left a little after noon. I had plans to go see the men and women Cougar basketball games.

I got into Colfax and talked to Mark, my neighbor. I told him about the upcoming search for the broken pipe. I then called Ryan. We met up near Stimpson. Then we drove to Beasley to see the basketball games.

We filled out the contest forms for the women's game. Near the beginning of the game Ryan's name was called as a contestant for one of the events. He had five seconds to go the length of the court and make a layup. He missed it. The ball hit too low and bounced off the backboard. It hit the rim and then to the ground. It was cool that he was called.

Between games we went to fill out more contest forms. There were about five hundred more people for the men's game than the women. During the game out of the corner of my ear I heard Glenn Johnson announce my name as one of the contestants. I went to the contest area. I said Brian Waterman from the fire department there. He said hello to me. I was going to do an event where I had to put on a coat, gloves, and a hat then shoot as many free throws as I could in forty-five seconds.

I came back at the appointed time. I was going against one other person. We were talked to center court. Glenn announced our names again. He said Scotty should be able to get his stuff on quick because he has practice at the fire department. We were told to go. I threw the over my head and went to put my arms in. My left arm did not go in. I realized quickly that the sleeve as inside out. So I tried to straighten it out. It would not. So I took it off and had a hard time straightening it out. Butch picked up the glove and handed them to me. The coat about three sizes too small. The gloves were small and the wrist strap was tight. I had to loosen it up and get them on. Finally I was able to run to the free throw line.

My first stop was an air ball by about three feet. My second shot missed by two feet. Then Glenn said "Time". I looked at my rebounder and asked him if I could get it one more time. I had to hit the rim so I would not seem so pathetic. I threw it up and hit the rim. It was horrible.

Chief Heston was about twenty rows back from the floor near where I was shooting. After I was done I went to talk to him. I said if he needs a basketball player I am available. He laughed and said "I have your number."

Ryan and I went back to his place and we watched Third Watch, but the Gonzaga game went long. We ended up missing the last ten minutes of the show. Then we watched all the coverage of the basketball brawl in Detroit.

Hardcore debugging

On my way into work I was going down Northup Way. A truck turned out from AM/PM and sat across two lanes because of the traffic and the red light ahead. I would have been mad, but I was going to use the turn lane. He was stopped there and talking on his cell phone. I started to go around the nose of his truck into the turn lane and he decided it would be a good time to use that same turn lane. I was expecting that. So when he started to go for me I hit the gas and my Hemi quickly got me out of danger. HEMI!

While at work I noticed the E-mail's from the Secondary Marketer were getting sent out now. I checked the HTML attachment. This was my first chance to look at it. It looked good except for an errant table tag. So I looked into it. I realized the HTML was not all getting sent. So I spent a large portion of the day running down the problem. I had to check through four store procedures, three different database tables, and one webpage. It took a long time to slowly go through line by line to figure out where data was going and where the problem was happening. I went through and finally saw where it was being striped. I then looked into the last store procedure. I saw a variable was made too small. I made it larger and it worked. It was great to get that solved.

Then I had to deal with two other issues. One of them was simply adding a check or a default contact on the secondary marketer before a link would work. That was a simple one. The last one was when a default contact is changed on a secondary marketer the old default contact had to be logically be de-ranked from default contact. The problem was with my logic. It would de-rank all the default contacts for all loan officers and not just the one I wanted it de-ranked for. This was a simple fix for the most part.

I went to Safeway for lunch and checked my Mega Millions ticket. I was not a winner. So I bought five bucks worth for Friday's drawing that is worth one hundred and fifty million dollars. I would be happy with that. I figure at fifty percent the winner would take a lump sum of seventy five million. Then another third off the top in taxes puts the take home to about fifty million. I think I could live on that.

My mom was worried about my trip to Pullman. Two people died due to bad road conditions and she is worried about me traveling. I told her I would be careful.

Realizations

I chatting online for most of the evening. I was talking to several people but two that were interesting were Kale and Richard.

I spoke with Kale about issues close to him. He suffers from people spreading hurtful rumors. I don't think what people are saying is true and it is a bad situation for him. Lately things have been getting better for him and people are starting realize the rumors are not true.

We also talked about something that bothers him. He likes to chat with people. Several of the people he talks to he is close with and wants to chat with all the time. Many times he is the one who has to start up the conversations. He wishes that people would start them up with him from time to time.

He wrote something on the Shack about the fact that people seem to have been distant to him lately and how he doesn't like that. I told Kale that I get frustrated because I want to be someone who can be there for him. Someone who he holds in high regard like the other people. I think that certain things hinder that kind of bond forming between us however.

A little while later Richard messaged me and said he thought I was using an alternative identity on the Shack. I told him that I would be honest if he told me who he thought it was. He said RockClimba, and that was not correct. That spawned a ninety minute conversation. We talked about things that had happened in the past and talked about some issues where I think we see things differently.

The first part of the conversation is as listed below:
[11/17/2004 - 23:03] Use the Force, Bin: I am sorry by the way.
[11/17/2004 - 23:03] Use the Force, Bin: It seems like everytime things go well between us I do something stupid.
[11/17/2004 - 23:03] Use the Force, Bin: well, I do things that I always do, but they are things that you don't like.
[11/17/2004 - 23:03] Use the Force, Bin: I feel bad about hat.
[11/17/2004 - 23:03] Use the Force, Bin: that*
[11/17/2004 - 23:04] my perrogative: you gotta take it in stride
[11/17/2004 - 23:05] my perrogative: I think I allow a decent amount a leway
[11/17/2004 - 23:05] Use the Force, Bin: It is frustrating to me.
[11/17/2004 - 23:05] my perrogative: with yourself? or what?
[11/17/2004 - 23:06] Use the Force, Bin: well I try to be someone you would like to talk to, but it seems clear when I am myself it is too much for you.
[11/17/2004 - 23:06] Use the Force, Bin: Being a Coug I feel like we have a connection...
[11/17/2004 - 23:06] Use the Force, Bin: but it seems clear we are cut from two different cloths
[11/17/2004 - 23:07] my perrogative: it's only when you cross that homosexual boundry where it's just not cool anymore. The hitting on, I couldn't take with another girl, so you're no different.
[11/17/2004 - 23:08] Use the Force, Bin: maybe I don't understand what is hitting on someone but I never viewed what I did as hitting on someone... I know you're not gay and I would not try to seduce you. I never set out to do that... I am very open about my feelings what I like and don't like with my friends.

The issue was Richard felt I was hitting on him one day a while back. I was telling him the same things I tell my other friends. But the fact that he felt I was hitting on him made me feel uncomfortable. So of like not being able to look him in the eye should we ever meet.

[11/17/2004 - 23:23] my perrogative: I couldn't picture myself commenting on my guy friend's looks in any "non-ripping him apart for looking like a dumbass" kind of way. If that's too straight, then that's me
[11/17/2004 - 23:24] Use the Force, Bin: I don't know what to say.
[11/17/2004 - 23:25] Use the Force, Bin: I guess I am too gay.
[11/17/2004 - 23:25] my perrogative: I'm not homophobic, and I think I've made that clear, though in no way would I act or adapt to, dare I say, typical gay verbs

[11/17/2004 - 23:27] Use the Force, Bin: Does commenting on someone's looks constitute hitting on that person?
[11/17/2004 - 23:27] my perrogative: possibly
[11/17/2004 - 23:28] my perrogative: if I was to pick a girl up, I'd definitely comment on their looks
[11/17/2004 - 23:29] Use the Force, Bin: of course you would talk about her looks, but I think you would also have to have the desire to pick up the person.
[11/17/2004 - 23:30] Use the Force, Bin: But it would not follow that talking about someone's looks would mean that you are trying to pick that person up.

We spent some time talking about what is a friend and how what most people consider a friend is most of the time an acquaintance. I told him some fringe details about how I promised myself I would not treat someone who I just met a friend because that person does not really know me and the way I am can be abrasive towards that person. I told him I only have one best friend because the term means only one. He said he does not like the term. I told him I did have one. He knew it was Ryan. He asked me what Ryan is like. I told him about Ryan.

He was then telling me about something where he and a friend of his had some jokes back and forth using a shirtless Justin Timberlake poster. I was thinking as he was saying it that I wouldn't be able to ever do that kind of thing with him now because I think he would view it differently coming from a gay man than a straight man.

The final part of the conversation was about meeting up. A long time ago I wanted to play him some ping pong or have a beer or something. But because of things that have happened in our conversation leads me to believe we could never meet.

[11/18/2004 - 00:03] my perrogative: when the hell are we gonna meet anyway?
[11/18/2004 - 00:04] Use the Force, Bin: never?
[11/18/2004 - 00:25] Use the Force, Bin: I need to head out. I don't know about meeting up. I think maybe leaving this as an online chat connection is as far as I can go. I would feel very self conscious around you in person. But have a good night and I hope your package is well received.
[11/18/2004 - 00:25] my perrogative: ok, I'll talk with you later

I really don't know what to make of things. I think it is clear the lack of knowledge of each other lead to the issues that developed between Richard and I. Maybe I am just not the kind of person who Richard would hang out with.

I watched some TV. SouthPark was on of course. I recorded that and watched CSI:NY.

Three stories about coming out

I was a little more useful at work today. I got a problem that was considered a show stopper taken care of. I also met up with Jim and Jon for lunch at the Three Pigs BBQ.

I left and headed home. I was thinking about a few things that happened in the last two years. A guy who I knew from WSU signed on for the first time in a long time. He did some reporting for the Daily Evergreen. He did a story about the lack of gay magazines in Pullman. He interviewed me for the story. That was January twenty-eight of two thousand and three.

The article was on page three of the Evergreen. I expected to hear from people about it. It was a situation where I knew I would be outing myself to the whole school. I was concerned how people at the fire department would take it.

The following week he had a training and no one said anything. I had not heard a single word about it. In fact I was starting to think that no one had read it and I got away with it. I was wrong.

About two weeks later we were having HazMat training. We were in the CUE building. We were using two rooms. The whole class was in one room. Myself and the trainer who was a WSU captain was in the other room. We had a break at the time. I was reading a copy of the Evergreen. I was standing there with my arms holding myself up over the desk where the paper was located. The instructor was the front of the room by the computer.

Then he said "Was that article about you?" I dropped my head. I paused for a second. Everything came crashing down. People knew!!! I said it was. So we had a brief small talk. The training ended soon. Jason, Drew, and I got into Rescue and headed back to our station. Jason is a quiet guy. He is a resident at the fire station. He is the kind of guy who is nice to everyone. Drew is in his thirties. He has several kids. He is one of those guys who has wild sex stories all the time. Everyone is always listening to him talk about what he does.

I was driving. Jason was in the middle and Drew was on the outside. Drew said that he had read a story in the Evergreen. He asked if it was about me. I said it was. He said so the closet door is opening. We talked about the story and me being gay. He and Jason were both okay with it. I said to Jason, did all the residents read the story. He sort of closed his eyes and slowly shook his head yes.

I was quiet. He said if I don't make a big deal about it no one else will either. I thought about that and took it to heart. I decided I would not talk about it unless someone else brought it up and wanted to know. That is the way it has been since that night in Rescue on the way back from HazMat training.

It was slightly strange knowing that others know. Some of the people I was closer with were good about it. Sometimes they would make neutral comments that showed they knew about it. It was just like normal banter between me and the guys. One of the new guys on the department asked me one day while I was down there if I was gay. He pulled me aside. He said he had heard, but wanted to know rather than listening to rumors. I admitted it was true. He was totally fine with it. He said that he could tell. I asked how. He said he worked in Florida with a lot of gay people around and had finely tuned gay-dar. He said there was nothing big, just a few small things.

Rewinding several years going back to the weekly card games at John’s house. Usually after training several of us would play cards at John’s. We were a group of guys who had fun and always talked about everything. One thing that was an on going joke was that I was gay. I never denied it once. I only laughed it off. I was at the point of not lying about it, but I would not always confirm it either.

At a boy scout camp John, several other fire fighters, and I taught some CPR classes. One of the guys who worked there was an EMT and was the “camp medic”. I got to know him. He was a major ten-six-seven. Blonde hair - blue eyes. Very nice. After the training was over and we were on the way back to Pullman in the van John made a comment about me hitting on that guy. Everyone laughed their asses off. They all saw it. I, too, laughed it off.

Another incident happened where I sent my friends an online quiz where you had a chance to see how well your friends knew you. One question was about my favorite actor. My answers were Steven Seagal, Paul Walker, and two others. Everyone who knew me choose Steven Seagal. After the test it shows what you missed. My answer was Paul Walker. A few days later I show up to the poker game. The others were already there. John immediately said “Who the fuck is Paul Walker?” I said that he was in the Fast and the Furious, Varsity Blues... John cut me off and said “Oh my God, you really ARE gay!!!” Everyone busted up laughing. I again laughed it off.

Then a few months later John and I were playing heads up. We did that a lot. Everyone else was gone. I kept trying to build up courage to tell him. I knew that he would not have a problem with it really. He is a really gruff guy on the exterior. A man’s man so to speak, but I also knew John was a very thoughtful and caring guy. John was also a progressive guy who was above hating someone for being gay.

I was dealing the cards. In the middle of the deal I blurt out, I am gay. His eyes bulged, he said WHAT!?!? I said I am gay. He did not believe me. In all the time of giving me a hard time about it, I think he still thought I was straight. He asked if I was serious. I told him I was. I told him that I was truly gay. He said “you better not be lying or I will kick your ass.” I laughed. I reaffirmed it. I also asked him not to tell anyone else. I told him my fear of being poorly treated by certain people. He said he would not. And true to John’s form he said if anyone every gives me a hard time about it to let him know because he will take care of it. John is not one to back down from a fight and he is very protective of friends. John is a good friend.

Sometime between John finding out and the newspaper article another incident happened. We were going to have a crew get together. We were going to meet at Rico’s and have some fun. Brandon and I were there. I invited my friend John (a different one from above) to come down as well. John showed up. Brandon and I waited around for a while. We found out later the get together was cancelled but no one bothered to tell us. I was pretty upset, but I was not going to let it ruin a good night. We drank a lot at Rico’s and then we went to the Sports Page. We played pool for a while.

Up to this time Brandon did not know neither John nor I were gay. As the night went along John and I said things about certain guys. Brandon was catching on. John went to the bathroom and Brandon came over to ask me if John was gay. I said that John was gay and so am I. Brandon was slightly shocked but he was cool about it.

After the night was over with we walked to our cars. John stopped and gave me a friendly hug. It was in front of Brandon. I am sure he thought that was weird. Brandon and I got in my truck and I gave him a ride home. We got to his house and talked about it for a while.

In all my worries about people at the fire department knowing and treating me differently were vastly untrue. I am sure some people have a problem with it and bite their tongue or talk behind my back. But the bottom line is that I have to be who I am, and as long as when we are on the fire ground, they treat me no differently I am fine with it.

Since that time one other new guy on the department is very open and very obviously gay. I also know of a WSU fire fighter who is highly closeted. I do not even know who it is, but I know he exists. I can understand him wanting to be closeted there. He has to share a room with guys and they live in close quarters. It is different with me. I don’t live with them. I wonder if that guy will ever come out while he is here or if he will stay in the closet until he is long gone.

Lack of motivation

Today was a bad day for me in terms of motivation. I spent most of the day being unproductive. I don't know what it was for sure. I just did not want to be at work I guess.

I went home at about four-thirty. On the way home I noticed a Bellevue cop was using her opticom to get through the traffic lights quicker. I did not mind as it was helping me too.

I spent the evening chatting with Kale online. We chat a lot. It is strange talking to him. There are a few people he talks to online and he loves them like a brother. I don't get that feeling from him. For me it is like I am just someone to talk to for him while he waits for someone else.

I also talked to Kyle a little bit. I asked him what was going on. He said he was sorry. He still wants to meet up. He said he gets a little freaky about meeting new people. I hope something gets resolved on his side. It is not like it us to be though. It does not seem like he has the time for me like he use to.

Coroners meeting

With my alarm clock waking me up on the weekend I was up and getting ready for the coroners meeting at ten am. I went to Rosauers and got some breakfast. Then I stopped in at the Sheriff's Office. Paul and Scott were there. I chatted with both of them. Scott said he has an application in with the city of Renton to work as a probation officer there. It would be cool if he got the job.

I helped Pete get some equipment downstairs into the coroners office. We started our meeting with some food and idle conversation. We were going to go over blood spatter. We chose to hold off on that. We went over some more photos of the roll over car accident that threw the guy out of the car and killed him.

Then we went over some pictures of the car accident on two-seventy that killed three college students a few years ago. We talked about the scene and the photos. We talked about the injuries. It was noted that two of the people killed were in the backseat of the car. The guys arm was still around his girl friend. It was a devastating accident. Cars were burnt. One car, a very large car, was demolished. What was amazing is that some of the injuries were minor and some were instantly fatal. It is amazing how a few feet made the difference between life and death.

We got our schedules set up for the month of December and Pete gave us an additional bag to store some of our stuff in. That is good because I was out of space in the bag I have.

I went home packed my truck and headed out. I had to go to Seattle as the weekend had come to an end.

Lobo work

I woke up and headed into Pullman this morning. I was planning on meeting up with Brandon around lunch time to go see the quint. I got to town and went to my office. I got the checks ready for deposit and went to the bank. Then I went back to the office and wrote a check for Jim for the office rent, and to the workers who were to get paid.

I went to Pizza Pipeline. I got some pizza slices and listened to Paul Harvey. I went back to my office and started to load my truck with the boxes that needed to be returned to Dell. There was about twenty or so boxes. I had to tape them up and send them away. I went to Pat's house. He ships them off for me. We talked about about forty-five minutes about the business and what we both have been up to. It looks like Pat will be retiring from Pullman fire in the next few weeks. That really sucks because I really like this guy.

When I was new on the department we were doing a training on using the master stream from the aerial ladder. Using a rope from the ground to control it. He came over to me and started to tell me about it and how to do it. Up until that time I did not know who it was. He was so friendly.

I had a Lobo job at two pm. I met up with an elderly guy with a computer and some problems. I spent about two hours doing some troubleshooting. We did some spyware checks. I got his anti-virus software up-to-date. I also spent time talking to him about making back ups of his data and helped him do it. He said that he will call again in the future when he needs more help. I, however, had not planned on being there that long.

I wanted to go to Ryan's house and watch the football game. The Cougs were playing against ASU on TBS. I got there into the second quarter. I called up Dan to ask him how the test went. He said him and John were in first and second place respectively. He said that Mike and Chuck did not do well on the test and that Matt was also high up on the list. Brandon has called and said he missed the cut off for the interview by two seconds. Jordan did not make the cut to even do the physical test. I felt bad for Brandon. I was hoping he would do better. Dan said they may be hiring about seven firefighters in the next six months. That made me mad to hear. I have been number five on the list for two straight years and never got an interview. If I was able to test this time I would probably get an interview at least.

I watched the Cougs. They were not doing too well. In fact they had scored but they kept giving up a lot of scores. The Cougs lost.

Ryan and I decided to go see a movie. We went to the Incredibles. That is a pretty funny movie. I enjoyed watching it. I think that is one I would like to see again.

afterwards I went home. I was watching Wolverings and reading the packet about blood spatter. That is for the coroners office. We are learning about blood spatter and how to read them and learn from them.

I get to see Brandon!!!

It has been a long time and the only thing between me seeing Brandon is about three hundred miles and eight hours. I have to work then drive. I wanted to get out of here at about noon or one pm. As it turned out we were supposed to have a meeting at noon. It kept getting pushed back, finally at two pm with no meeting time in sight I left. I hit the road for Pullman!

The traffic was a little thick because of the later start, but I got cruising. When I got to Colfax I was going to take over being on call for the coroners office. I called Whitcom and let them know when I hit Colfax. Then I called Brandon. He was about an hour outside of Colfax yet. I went home and dropped off my bag. When I had stepped into the house I saw a note from Chris saying that the neighbor had said that a hose burst and ran water for a few days. I went to the bathroom and the water in the toilet was low. I always flush the toilet once. Then I went pee and went to flush it again, but nothing happened. It was right about then that I realized that the toilet tank never refilled. I tried to turn on the sink. No water. So I checked out the crawl space and I did not see pools of water. That was a good thing. I checked some other places and saw no water.

I drove to the fire station and talked to Jenny. She was going to call the guy who would have turned off the water. He was not home. A little bit later I got a call from Brandon. He said he was at Corner Cheveron and needed directions to my house. I heard his truck drive up my drive way. I diesel Dodge Twenty-Five-hundred. It was a manly, beefy, construction-worker-type truck. I loved it.

Him and his brother Jordan got out. We all shook hands and then went into the house. It was dark outside so I did not get a good look at Jordan. We went in to the house. Brandon is a tall guy with blonde hair and blue eyes. He has broad shoulders. He is a very friendly guy. His younger brother, Jordan, had brown hair and brown eyes. He actually looked stronger than Brandon. He was a ten-six-seven like his brother, Brandon, is.


We took off and headed to Pullman. I stopped by CCN and picked up Ryan. Then we went to Cougar County. Devin met us there. We ate and talked about firefighting, the test that Brandon and Jordan are taking, old times, and various other things. It was so fun to just hang out with Brandon again.

After about an hour and a half of sitting at Cougar Country we went to Sport Page. I bought Jordan and Brandon a beer because they both have a birthday in the next few days. I got Devin one to not leave him out. Ryan and I did not have any. While sitting at the bar I saw Mark from the softball team, Ron and Heather, Jim from the county, and a few other people I know. I said hello to all of them.

We were there for about an hour or so. They wanted to get going and Ryan and I were going to go back to Ryan's and watch Third Watch from last week and tonight's episode. Both episodes were good. I hate it when the show ends. That is one show I would love to just keep going.

I went home and had no water for the rest of the evening. I had some water in my truck I decided that I could use that to brush my teeth in the morning.

Cleaning up code problems

With the weekend coming up I wanted to be on the road early on Friday. Brandon is coming to town and we are going to meet up!

In order to get out of here early I needed to get as much as I could done with my code. I got some of it moved to the test server and fixed little problems. There still is a problem with one page where I have to work with someone else on the solution.

It was not really a remarkable day for the most part. Following the fun at work I went home and watched CSI of course, seeing as this is Thursday.

New change for the Secondary Marketer

There was one thing about the Secondary Marketer changes I did not want to touch and it came down today that I had to do so. They wanted to be able to track a default contact for Secondary Marketer who would get an auto-generated E-mail should a loan request be locked. That person would only get the E-mail if that loan app did not have a specifically named Secondary Marketer.

So I ended up sifting through everything. I ended up changing three ASP pages, seven stored procedures, a change to the database. All that work to add a single check box. A lot of the time I spent working on logic for a smart system to know that you can only have one secondary marketer checked at one time. With the data I had at hand I was trying to make it work. My logic was flawed for a while. Finally I sat back and drew some stuff out and realized where my error was. I got it corrected and all the changes checked into the source control program.

I went home and we had dinner right after I got there. I watched Quintuplets. There is a character on the show, Pierce, who is a big ten-six-seven. The way they have him act in the show is so funny. He plays the part very well.

I also watched the new SouthPark and CSI:NY.

I swear I have to get a job back in Pullman. I am so inactive around here. I work, sleep, hang out on the net, and watch TV. I don't do the things I usually do back in Pullman. I feel so lazy right now. I use to run from job to job and place to place getting stuff done.

I also got a call tonight from a customer from a Dell warranty job Lobo did. It turns out the hard drive needed to be installed and the system recovery CD's needed to be run. The harddrive ended up being the F: drive and not the C: drive. So I talked to Dell about it. They said if there was an external flash card reader or a printer with a flash card reader plugged in while installing the OS, it would make itself the C: drive and everything else is something else.

So I will have to have a tech go back out and fix that. At the same time I found out the other day that SmarTech is no longer doing the Dell Warranty work for BancTech in Washington. That is why it was so long since our last job. They said to call BancTech to see if we could continue doing the Dell work.

I called BancTech this morning and got in touch with the right guy. He said to send an E-mail to him about it. I told him about the area and how there are no near by cities in Washington to Pullman. I will not hear anything more until Monday. I really need to keep this contract. It was actually making me some money.

Going home early

I was able to go home early because I had my stored procedures and other issues fixed. I needed to wait for someone else to do her part so there was nothing more I could do. I hope all my changes work the way they are supposed to. I have a note book with a bunch of notes in it so I can go back and remember what I did and what files I touched so it is easier to go back and change stuff around.

This application covers hundreds upon hundreds of pages, stored procedures, and other items. You can get lost wading through everything.

Tuesday was a slow night at home. I pretty much just hung out and chatted on the computer.

Oh man. It is Monday.

I was still working on the stored procedure to get the E-mails to work. I also needed to work on the E-mail forms. They wanted it to look like the prototype that I had made. I spent a lot of time formatting HTML to make it look all nice. The problem is that it cannot get tested until it gets moved to a testing server, because the E-mail sending portion does not work locally on my machine.

I spend a large amount of the day doing that. Upon reaching home it was time to relax. I sat back in the recliner and watched the Simpsons.

CSI:Miami had a special ninety minute episode. Ryan called and reminded me that it started at nine-thirty.

A lazy-lazy day

I spent the day helping to do the laundry. I also watched the Seahawks play football. With San Diego winning and the Bears beating the Giants I won the four-hundred-eighty dollars in the horserace! I am pretty stoked about getting that money in my hands.

Lazy days of summer... er.. fall

I slept to nearly two pm. I got up in time to listen to the end of the WSU vs UCLA football game. The Cougs won and still have bowl hopes alive. I was pretty stoked that they won.

I ate some eggs and hung around the house all day. At about five-thirty I went to my brothers house to watch the boys. Jon and Lisa were going out to dinner for Lisa's birthday. Justin and I play Monopoly on the computer and Logan play a computer game on his computer.

Then we went into the play room and watched Garfield. Shortly before the end of the movie Jon and Lisa got back. We all watched the end of the movie and then I left. I went to Diamond Lil's again. I wanted to play some more Texas Hold'em.

I did not do as well as yesterday. I kept grinding away. One hand I have strung suited cards. It was the four and five of spades. I thought about playing them and then decided not to. On the flop a two and three of spades came out. My heart jumped into my throat. I was thinking that if the six of spades came I would freak out. I was thinking, what are the chances of that. The turn was a six of spades!!! I threw away the chance for a straight-flush! I could feel my heart pounding knowing what I did.

That is the kind of thing that make someone play dumb sometimes. I realized I had to keep my game the way I play it. Thankfully it was a pretty small pot. If it had been huge I would have died.

A while later I was down to about fourteen dollars. I decided I would need to go all in soon. I found a good hand. I raised the blind. Someone else raise and so did someone else. It was sixteen bucks before the flop and there were about seven people in. That was a nice pot that I was part of. I ended up winning it. When the blind got back to me I decided to leave. I walked out with about six plus bucks rather than walking out broke.

I went home and got to bed closer to four am.

End of the Kyle era?

Today I had one thing in mind at work. Finish the stored procedure. Before I went in I stopped by the post office and mailed off a letter of recommendation from Bev and my application for Pullman Fire.

The stored procedure needed to be refined. There was a lot of data in the database that needed to be formatted. That took a long time to go through it line by line and then figure out in SQL how to format it the way I wanted.

Tonight the plan was to meet Kyle. He is a younger guy. We were going to go see Saw in the theatre. When I called him after work he said that he was thinking that he may want to do something else instead. I asked what he wanted to do. He did not have an answer. I said depending on what it was I would probably be game.

I got home and called him again. He said he was worried about meeting me for the first time and meeting in a place he was unfamiliar with. I had talked about the Factoria Movie theatres. I told him I would go to any theatre. I only had suggested the Factoria theatres.

He said he would call back in a little while, that he had to do something. A while came and went with no call. I watched Third Watch and then decided to leave. I was pretty upset that he did not call me. I was actually worried about how long the relationship would last because he likes to smoke pot. And I am against that big time. So I think we would have clashed there. Plus he would not move to Pullman should I get my job there. He wants to stay in this area. So I don't know what would have come of it. I just think it is crappy the way he left me hanging.

For a guy who called me up at three am last weekend and told me how much he was into me and how much he loved talking to me and having me around, he doesn't see to show it.

I drove to Seattle. I thought about going to the Madison Pub to see if anyone from the softball team was there. I drove by it. There was not a lot of close by parking and I did not feel like doing too much. Going there was outside of my comfort zone. Going inside without knowing what to expect was way outside my comfort zone. I ended up driving by it and I wimped out. I did not go inside. Instead I drove back to Renton.

I went to Diamond Lil's and played cards. I ended up playing until a little after five-thirty am. I held my own obviously. By the end of the night however I was down about fifty dollars. That was not too bad from being on the brink of being knocked out a few times.

I drove home from Downtown Renton. I got to the road to Fairwood on the Maple Valley Highway before I saw my first red light. I made great time going through town.

Leg up on System E-mail.

Today's big task was to make a stored procedure in SQL work for my system E-mail that needs to get sent out in conjunction with the secondary marketer changes I have made. I got it figured out to a point. I worked on getting the stored procedure set up. This was no easy task.

There are about forty fields with data I have to pull out of a table. This is taking a fair amount of time to declare everything, and then set up the select and putting the values into another variable. The reason it is taking so long is because I have to keep referencing other materials because the working name and the database name are different.

It got it finished and started to test it. I found that it was not working. So I had to take everything section by section and put it into the query analyzer and test it. I found the problems and fixed them one by one. As the day was coming to an end I had it completed. It sucked that it took so long to do that. I wanted to be done with it shortly after lunch. It was the end of the day and it was not totally complete.

I got home to pizza. That was good stuff. CSI was on as well. I really like that show and make sure I watch it.

Happy Four-More-Years Day

I woke up this morning with the news the Kerry did concede and Bush won the election. I was pretty stoked about that. The slot machine initiative lost. Murray won. The governor's election is still too close to call.

Now it is onto secondary marketing again. This is something that I worked on a week or two ago. It now involved some system E-mails which is an interesting beast in of itself.

We went to lunch with a group of people. Ryan, on the former workers, came over to have lunch with us. We went to Red Robin. There is a guy who works there as someone who seats people when the come in. The is the second time I have seen him. His name is Brad. He is a ten-six-seven for sure.

I watched the all new South Park and CSI: New York tonight as well. South Park had an episode about WalMart. How it takes over small town, etc. It is pretty funny because I am sure that debate will hit Pullman as a WalMart Supercenter will be going into Pullman.

I figured it out!!!

The happiness I am overflowing with is winning my personal Super Bowl. I have been fighting with the Pricing Upload Tool and its latest issue. I have been working on it since Friday. I talked to my brother about it for a while. He asked some questions and gave me some pointers about some stuff. I was getting sick of it. I was going to do it the hard way. Step-by-step, line-by-line until I figured it out.

I opened my web.config file to compare it to a known good one. The connection string in it was known to be good because I copied from the good web.config. But I decided to compare some of the rest of the web.config file. Typically I have not changed anything besides added keys. As I moved lower on the page I found something that was not in my web.config. I copied it and pasted it. I tried it and it worked. I threw my arms in the air in celebration!

I have been getting up tight about the vote for today. I have been talking to Kale almost all day about the election. I went to a website that showed all the polls taken in the different states. It showed that Bush would take about three-hundred electoral votes, which was what he needed.

Before I left work they started to call some of the states. I listened to the radio coverage on the way home and the news when I got home. I was watching Bush get a lead, then at eight pm, California and Washington where given to Kerry. That was a quick sixty-six for him and he nearly caught up to Bush with that jump.

While Kale and I were talking he said that FOX News just gave Ohio to Bush. That was the beginning of the end for Kerry as Bush had also gotten Florida. Bush needed just one more state and he had about three that were leaning his way. By the time I went to bed I knew that in the morning Bush would be re-elected to the President of the United States.

I was also watch the race for Washington governor. Rossi is trailing by less than four hundred votes with about a million absentee to count. I am still holding out hope for a Republican governor for Washington.

The Vote

I am watching coverage and checking on six websites. It looks like it will be tight. Also in Washington the democrats win some stuff. It looks like Murray will remain in the Senate. Rossi is in a tight race. Bush lost Washington, but there are too many Seattle liberals!

Update from police ride along in August

This is the man who was in the pursuit when I was riding with Whatcom County Sheriff. This is a secondary incident. I have made bold the part that writes about the time I was with the police.

http://coug1973.blogspot.com/2004/08/riding-with-joe.html

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Wounded suspect arrested in chase, shooting Spencer

Katie N. Johannes, The Bellingham Herald

The Whatcom County man shot by officers in Burlington on Wednesday was in satisfactory condition Thursday at Seattle's Harborview Medical Center, where he is under arrest and being guarded while he recovers from his wounds.

Authorities identified the man as Gregory James Spencer, 29, a transient formerly with an address in the Paradise Lakes area. The Whatcom County sheriff and the Bellingham Police chief said Spencer has a lengthy and increasingly violent criminal history.

"We're very glad to have him off the streets," Sheriff Bill Elfo said.

Spencer was arrested on investigation of eluding, violation of the uniform controlled substance act and possession of a stolen gun.

Immigration and Customs Enforcement and the Whatcom County Sheriff's Office are conducting internal reviews of their officers' use of deadly force. However, witness accounts and early reports have revealed no criminal conduct or policy violations, spokesmen for the agencies said. Neither of the two officers is facing disciplinary action.

The Whatcom County Sheriff's Office has been dealing with Spencer since 1990, and has booked him into jail at least 15 times.

"He's a regular," Chief Criminal Deputy Jeff Parks said.

Spencer has been involved in 17 incidents in Bellingham since May that have resulted in contact with an officer, an arrest or an open case, police Chief Randy Carroll said.

Spencer's Washington convictions include armed robbery, second-degree burglary, illegal possession of a firearm, assault, violation of the uniform controlled substance act and possession of stolen property, Elfo said.

Pending charges include possession of stolen property, a firearms violation, possession of a sawed-off gun, bail jumping and possession of methamphetamine, Elfo said.

In August, Spencer fled deputies who had stopped him for a traffic violation. He sped away in his car, then got out and ran, said Deputy Steve Cooley. Spencer was arrested with the help of an off-duty Bellingham police officer and neighbors.

He was booked into jail on investigation of felony eluding, resisting arrest and burglary and later was released on a bond.

On Friday, Bellingham police issued a request for help looking for Spencer after he allegedly robbed an acquaintance at gunpoint Oct. 14, and two days later, fired two shots at the same man.

Spencer apparently told an associate that he had acquired a gun in case police tried to arrest him, Elfo said.

"He was making threats that if we tried to apprehend him, he was going to shoot it out and not go back to jail," said Parks.

At about 5:30 p.m. Wednesday, officers from several agencies surrounded Spencer and tried to arrest him on warrants in Fairhaven.

Spencer fled, ramming an undercover police car and narrowly missing an officer, Parks said.

With the help of a Customs and Immigration airplane, officers kept their distance and tracked Spencer as he raced down Interstate 5 and drove to a house in the 7100 block of Old Highway 99.

Elfo said he believes Spencer was unaware that officers were pursuing him.

Spencer parked the car and ran inside.

Within three or four minutes, about 15 officers from different agencies surrounded the house, Elfo said.

Spencer ran out the back door and fired a gun at two officers who returned fire, striking Spencer, Elfo said.

Elfo said he was told Spencer suffered a collapsed artery in one of his arms. He was taken to Skagit Valley Hospital, then airlifted to Harborview. He should be released in a few days, Parks said.

The Skagit County Sheriff's Office is conducting a criminal investigation into Spencer's actions, because the shooting was in that county.

Skagit County Chief Deputy Will Reichardt said officers should wrap up a search for evidence at the Burlington house some time today.

The agencies will conduct internal reviews into the officers' use of deadly force.

The Whatcom County deputy who fired at Spencer is on paid administrative leave while the Skagit County Sheriff's Office completes a criminal investigation, but he is not suspended, Elfo said.

"It's stressful to be shot at," Elfo said. "We told him to take a day or two off."

Elfo would not release the identity of the deputy, or how long he had worked for the Sheriff's Office.

The Immigration and Customs Enforcement Officer who fired at Spencer is back at work, said Public Relations Officer Mike Milne.

"We offer the person, if they need time off, to take that, but it's not automatic." Milne said. "We do an initial review to see if there is any indication of impropriety, but there doesn't appear to be any."

Milne also did not release the name of the agent who shot at Spencer, although he said he is an assistant special agent in charge in Blaine and Bellingham.

Chief Criminal Deputy Parks said the Whatcom County Sheriff's Office's deadly force policy allows officers to fire on a suspect whenever there is a reasonable perception that there is a risk of serious bodily harm or death to any law enforcement officer or the public.

If the suspect has acted with deadly force in the past, threatened other people, displayed a weapon, or committed a felony and attempts to run, officers can fire, Parks said.

"We don't have to wait for the bullet to go by," he said.

In Parks' 22 years with the Sheriff's Office, there have been three occasions in which an officer shot a suspect, he said.

Milne said it is a rarity in the Pacific Northwest that an agent would shoot a suspect, although this is the second time it's happened in a week - agents shot a man in Federal Way on Monday.

Milne and Parks both said officers are trained, and revisit their training regularly.

"This is one of the reasons why a lot of planning goes into trying to take somebody into custody in a controlled environment and ensure public safety," Milne said. "It's always a risk."

The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older

It is just over a month and a half before my thirty-first birthday. I always think about the song Time by Pink Floyd.

And you run and run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

I sometimes think about what I did when I was younger and wish I had done things differently. I watch people who were my age doing things differently and wish that if I had to do it again that I would have done it differently. When I was in my early twenties I spent my evenings working rather than building friendships and being with my friends that I cannot be with anymore.

I think this is why I have changed my priorities in life. Work is not a high priority. In fact playing softball is the most important thing to me. My friends all know this. I would rather play softball than do other things. I would rather run fire calls than many other things. If I am not doing those two things I would rather be with my friends and family. I realized, that when I have a chance to be with an important friend or get sleep before work, I realized that my friends win out.

I got up early today because I wanted to get to work before a meeting to get my tool to work. As it turns out the meeting was Friday, so it was all for nothing. I spent the whole work day trying to get the tool to work. I still have a hard time figuring it out. The connection string is fine. Everything appears to be fine, yet it will not connect to the SQL Server. I want to give up, but this is a problem where no one else can do it. I have to keep trying and keep working on it until it is fixed.

Because I came in early I decided that I would leave early as well. I went home at about three in the afternoon. I was pretty tired. I spent most of the afternoon and evening laying around watching TV. I did get on the computer and complete my applications for the jobs at WSU. I also filled out my application for Pullman Fire.